Blabbermouth

Oh the words they say but never mean

As a student, we spent most of our time at school, being around other people our own age. Maybe we've all got little groups of people who we hang out with ( or as we can say, "our squad"). I've got a few group of friends myself over the years but only few remain intact whilst most of the others drift apart.

That quote you hear over and over again

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt”

Well I don't quite agree with this quote. You see, words are more powerful than you think. Letters are written as a sign of apology, people write books to tell stories, poems are made to express feelings, words are very powerful. People go through conflicts all the time, not just at school, and most of the time its caused by miscommunication.

Things people say

Sometimes friends come to me to ask for advice or to just vent. They've all got problems but I'm hearing the same thing over and over again. "I wish people can just mind their own business" , "Why are they so interested in my life, I wish they would stop spreading rumors". The thing is, there will always be those nosy people who wants to get all the juice and butt into your life, its just the way you react to it.

Let's say you were walking with your best friend one day (we'll call her Jude)

Now, Jude loves music and so do you, so that's one of the reason why you two are close. Jude wrote a song the other day and asked you to hear and give feedback. You listened and found some parts that are not that enjoyable so you told her. Jude becomes mad and storms off, leaving you standing alone in confusion. Maybe what you said (or the way you said it) sounds hurtful to her but not to you. So you go on the next day like nothing really happened, you go to look for Jude like you normally do but she ignored you the whole day and pretended you weren't there. Later, you found out that Jude told everyone you're a mean person and judge-mental when all you thought you did was give an opinion. Hearing this, you became furious and decides to tell others about the bad sides of Jude to get back at her. Rumors about both of you will spread around. not cool.

This is what usually happens and it usually ends in a never ending loophole of gossip. The people you told will tell other people and it will spread like a virus. Most of the time, people will add more things to those spreading words. If you react like this in a situation, then this conflict would never be solved and you'll probably never go back to being friends with Jude who used to be your best friend.

So how do you deal with problems like this?

The answer is actually kind of simple. You talk. Talk things out with Jude and say what you meant to say (remember to be veeery patient and also listen to what she says). This may be hard because you might really dislike her at this point but hey, try to be mature and put your ego aside. Things will turn out better this way and you both will be friends again. Of course this isn't easy to do in the beginning, but build habits. By doing this consistently and putting things aside, you will continue to build habits and before you know it, you will be solving problems like this without even thinking about it. Uncomfortable situations means going through change, no change is comfortable.

Think.

What you say will eventually go back to you, like a boomerang you threw yourself. "I wish people will stop talking about me" well, how do you expect other people to do that when you yourself keep talking about others. You might deny it but most of the time, these things happen unconsciously so take the time to evaluate and really think about what you're gonna say.